Apparently, in Japan, where they punish you for having weed, they have funny ways of testing security. Apparently customs will drop 142g of pot in your luggage and then grab you for having it. Or, as happened in this case, they won’t. And then they’ll forget. And then you’ll get caught at your destination airport wondering what happened. And if you landed China, god be with you, because they may not tell you why you’re being arrested. And then you’ll wonder why you never read Kafka to prepare you for just what’s going to happen.

I hope he sues them and gets to keep the marijuana, that’ll teach them a lesson. A real lesson.

That’s it, I can’t take any more. I feel like one of those over-emotional nutcases trying to sympathise with people who’ve just lost a mother or brother (no, fathers and sisters aren’t important you insensitive prick, what a question to ask!) in the Chinese earthquake. Really, I can’t. It’s too far away, it’s too big. It’s too bad to face. But what I can do is lament about my situation, a luxury of every man’s dreams so to speak. I have too much, and you know how that goes with good things - not well, in case you didn’t guess.

What have I done? What am I trapped in? They don’t all know, thank god. It can only go badly if they did. Lord, grant me peace.

The Greeks are trying to get back the Parthenon marbles which the British took from the site ages ago, and placed carefully in a museum in their own country. They also refuse to return the parts of the frieze that they have, claiming that three times more people can see them where they are - as part of a collection of world history. This is just plain ridiculous. If the home country is asking for it back, then you must return it, particularly for something as significant as the Parthenon. It also raises the question, “What were British archaeologists doing plucking apart pieces of an obviously significant building?”. When they go to other countries these days and excavate old ruins are they still at it with this funny business of dismantling culturally significant sites to place in museums across the world? Incredibly short-sighted people.

Too many people have them. Why? I don’t know, it’s not like they’re fooling anyone. Most often what happens is that a group of people form, with each constituent choosing to ignore the others’ lack of sincerity about their moral problems and then the whole group will claim to be morally above everyone else. It’s quite sad because normal people just want to get on with their lives, and seeing these fellows (because it usually a group of men) making a fuss about the most trivial of things is this nagging annoyance - like that one mosquito that managed to get past the net.

Stop your crap, guys, no one even believes you’re serious about your ‘preservation of culture’ bullshit.

We can’t, you know. If our own problems are anything to go by, the second we try to there’ll be crying about the sovereignty of the country and how other nations shouldn’t interfere in internal matters. Frankly, I think those politicians should shut the fuck up. Sure, we shouldn’t depend on other people to bail us out. It isn’t fair to the United States or Europe to call them in every time we have trouble and then hate them when they decide to take the pound of flesh they think they deserve as reward.

Still, I can still dream of having UN paratroops landing right in the middle of large scale communal violence. That would rock, blue helmets for the win. A slightly more blood-pumping dream is having blood-thirsty Blackwater mercenaries flying in on their huge helicopters and unleashing mayhem. Ah yes, we all love death and destruction. Mmmm…

Yay for generalisations. But frankly, if you said that you wouldn’t want the LHC running because it will end the universe then you’re a fucking moron. Please go away. Idiots. Why can’t they go and live in a cave or something?

I bet they’ll read that article, see this little line there:

The LHC will generate data at a rate equal to the entire human population each making 10 telephone calls – simultaneously.

And then they’ll say something like, “So why don’t they just get us to all make calls at the same time, then?” Are they born without a brain or something?

You live in constant fear of an enemy that your very cowardice has created. Face other people like men, stand up and show that you can see them as an equal without fear of being shown up. Haven’t done that so far, and now everyone looks down on you for your ignorance and your arrogance, typical of a ‘fly on a cartwheel’ as a popular politician/cricketer/commentator/clobberer of the aged would have said. You kill the women and children and the young men who want nothing but a bright future and you drive them to their doom. And yours. I hope you enjoy yourself, scared of LEDs, of wires, oppressing yourself in the quest for liberation. You’ve created your own Atlas’ load, and you bear it with little fortitude. You’re useless in every form, violent kids yelling for attention. Go away.