Implicit Truths

Chetan was Marc’s friend from SJBN, hilarious bugger, reminded me of one guy in school, except Chetan is really funny. Really. He has like long trips on Marc’s posts and stuff like that. Once upon a time he was on our side.

Toxichermit a.k.a Chetan

Allegiance: Marc “The Tyrant”

Weapon of choice: Giant fader in the sky.

Toxichermit, once a renowned sage, who was consulted on topics ranging from whether to brush one’s teeth to how to assault “The Tyrant’s” impregnable fortress, is now a Marc loyalist. No one knows what motivated him to change his stand and to forsake all those who trusted him though it is likely that the warriors’ constant mis-pronounciation (Toxi-chermit instead of Toxic hermit) and mis-spelling (Chethan instead of Chetan) of his name pushed him to shift allegiance.

Now he has power which even the greatest of warlords would only dream of wielding. His position as The Tyrant’s right hand man and Chief Brain-Pulper (CBP) allows him the power to crush (literally) his opponents spirits.

Toxichermit belonged to a very famous tribe, which was once almost eradicated. He is the last survivor, all other members having passed from reality to legend. He now uses his intellect to slander and spread dis-information about the Rebels, calling them rats. His tribe’s appetite for rat-burgers is well known and this particular comment is no coincidence. With ultimate control over what he calls the “efFIGY” (Great Fader In the Sky), he finds it easy to align peoples opinion in his favour by caricaturing Rebel leaders variously as rodents and brain-damaged MwP violators.

He finds it amusing to torture Rebel warriors with unspeakable methods, including queuing their posts for deletion and using inappropriate smilies thereby reducing their great minds to pulp. This earned him the name “Satan” which was corrupted to “Chetan” due to the inability of pulp-brain warriors to talk clearly.

With the Rebellion fading and its proponents being either liquidated or converted to loyalists, Chetan’s defection could be the last straw to break Its back.

Last Sighting: Roaming the “Me, Myself and Technology” grounds, searching for bugs and rats.

Conclusion: Extremely dangerous when supported by a group. Do not attempt to return him to the fold, it is too late.