Chetan was Marc’s friend from SJBN, hilarious bugger, reminded me of one guy in school, except Chetan is really funny. Really. He has like long trips on Marc’s posts and stuff like that. Once upon a time he was on our side.

Toxichermit a.k.a Chetan

Allegiance: Marc “The Tyrant” Zephyrin

Weapon of choice: Giant fader in the sky.

Toxichermit, once a renowned sage, who was consulted on topics ranging from whether to brush one’s teeth to how to assault “The Tyrant’s” impregnable fortress, is now a Marc loyalist. No one knows what motivated him to change his stand and to forsake all those who trusted him though it is likely that the warriors’ constant mis-pronounciation (Toxi-chermit instead of Toxic hermit) and mis-spelling (Chethan instead of Chetan) of his name pushed him to shift allegiance.

Now he has power which even the greatest of warlords would only dream of wielding. His position as The Tyrant’s right hand man and Chief Brain-Pulper (CBP) allows him the power to crush (literally) his opponents spirits.

Toxichermit belonged to a very famous tribe, which was once almost eradicated. He is the last survivor, all other members having passed from reality to legend. He now uses his intellect to slander and spread dis-information about the Rebels, calling them rats. His tribe’s appetite for rat-burgers is well known and this particular comment is no coincidence. With ultimate control over what he calls the “efFIGY” (Great Fader In the Sky), he finds it easy to align peoples opinion in his favour by caricaturing Rebel leaders variously as rodents and brain-damaged MwP violators.

He finds it amusing to torture Rebel warriors with unspeakable methods, including queuing their posts for deletion and using inappropriate smilies thereby reducing their great minds to pulp. This earned him the name “Satan” which was corrupted to “Chetan” due to the inability of pulp-brain warriors to talk clearly.

With the Rebellion fading and its proponents being either liquidated or converted to loyalists, Chetan’s defection could be the last straw to break Its back.

Last Sighting: Roaming the “Me, Myself and Technology” grounds, searching for bugs and rats.

Conclusion: Extremely dangerous when supported by a group. Do not attempt to return him to the fold, it is too late.

Whatever happened to Ananth, he was pretty hardcore about anime and manga and that kind of stuff. You know, his avatar was an anime character no one would recognise. He also had some interesting science interpretations and we would have crazy discussions about gravity and stuff. Funny. Marc used to pick on him for no reason.

M.M. Ananth

Description: Is rumoured to be linked to Marc in someway, a fact that irks “The Tyrant” to no end. Known to have created Highly ‘Scientific’ Topic in Technology sub-forum. Little is known except for his love for Anime on which he has remodelled his looks. The link with Marc has no real basis but a lot of circumstantial evidence. About the time Marc acquired the Throne (by a coup), M.M Ananth dissappeared. Has yet to be seen. His comments, though rather thought of as “sweet” and “cute” by some members of this nation, have demoralised his fellow warriors.

Last sighting: Animax???
Conclusion: another innocent bystander. Probably annihilated by Marc.

Marc was the guy who had root admin powers to that invisionfree board and so he was the natural choice as the evil leader that was oppressing us. He intensely disliked grey posts.

The Tyrant a.k.a Marc Zephyrin a.k.a Pizza Maker

Description: Overlord at Alternation. Rules with an iron hand. Is extremely lazy and uses old workmen armed with answering machines and refrigerators to run ATN. Fighting these has proved an almost impossible task. When feeling bored makes changes at ATN which (whether good or bad) automatically attract criticism since they come from Marc. As the only person who is allowed to make Pizza he has suppressed his people and forced half of them to make pasta. Even this recreative activity is denied some who are labelled “Dead Men”.

Is rumoured to have sold his soul to the Devil. Calls himslef Admin in an effort to confuse his foes. ([i]What do you do to an AddMinus[+-]?). This hasnt worked upon any of his subjects since they do not know how to add or subtract.

Is known to be obsessed with a certain type of substance known as a Ben Joke. (Subsequent investigations on London’s most famous cclock tower revealed nothing.)

Has hired a henchman, Nikhil, who he set up under the title Super Spammer
(a.k.a Propagada Master[PM]).
Is responsible for large scale destruction of valuable material (posts by those who he subjugates) and blaming it on his supposed associate who is rarely seen.

Conclusion: If you see him, throw anything nearby at him. If spotted, cover your face and run for your life. In case, he is in the presence of his PM, refrain from above activity. Simply flee for your life.

Last Known Sighting: (All those who may have seen him have been rendered incapable of speech and action and cannot confirm. )

Latest Crime: He has turned upon Nikhil and rendered him ineffective by removing his primary source of nutrition (the post count display).

Back when I was still in school and used to use IM-speak like LOL, and ROFL and stuff like that I hit upon a brilliant idea, talking about each of the fellows on the board as if they were fighting a giant evil Admin Marc, the stereotypical BOFH, even though he wasn’t our tech man or anything.

Anyway, here’s the posts:

Conky Leon.

Description: Wasn’t a team member. Usually waited for the rest of the squad to fight the crazy old men Marc kept sending at us and then ate all the food. His last supper was when Nikhil stepped out of the shadows and grabbed his icecream. This terrified him so much he has retreated into the shadows. Has been spotted in Zap once or twice. Has turned pale and eats only raw fish and spider-stung hobbits.

End of Service:

Reason: Fled in terror when confronted by MArc’s henchman Nikhil
Date: Jul 20 2004, 09:20 PM