I wasn’t aware till a few days ago that INTL ran lotteries. As it turns out, they do. The kind Mr. Meсdez provided me with this information. I must believe him because his first name is the same as my cousin’s. Except my cousin doesn’t go around pretending to be Mecdezes and telling people they’ve won a lottery. While at first I wondered if this letter was from Nevada as claimed, reading through it I discovered that it was actually from Navade (which, I presume is the female form of that Iranian programme). I am also really grateful to that Fierro group for having bought a lottery ticket in my name, how nice is that! Anyway, I’m off to collect my euros, though they print their currency with an odd separator, the colon. Possibly because after that, coming from behind, is the rectum.

LOTTERY NEVADA INTERNATIONAL LOTTO S.A
FROM:GOVERNMENT ACCREDITED LICENSED LOTTERY PROMOTERS.
CALLE ANTONIO 4B 12001,MADRID-SPAIN.
Tel/Fax:+34 634 086 544
E-mail:nevadapromoters@madrid.com

FROM THE DESK OF THE MANAGING DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPT.

REF/EG/JK67542/06
BATCH/6546235/GAFK

RE:BONUS LOTTERY PROMOTION PRIZE AWARDS WINNING NOTIFICATION

Dear Lucky Winner,

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just concluded final draws of LOTTERY NAVADE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY AWARD held on the 20th June, 2008. The online cyber lotto draws was conducted from an exclusive list of 25,000 e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet in appreciation of our annual summer visitors to Spain. No tickets were sold.

Your name attached to the ticket number 02215-06-1984-993-811 with serial number 2093-12119 drew the lucky numbers 0812-18-493-424-7110 which consequently won the lottery in the 2nd category.

After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged as one of two winners in the category “B” with the following:You as well as the other winner are therefore to receive a cash prize of 800,809:00 (Eight Hundred Thousand, Eight Hundred And Nine Euros Only) each from the total payout prize.Your prize awards has been insured with your e-mail address pending when your full names and address will be known to us, and thereafter,your winning fund will be transferred to you upon meeting our requirements, verifications and satisfactory report.

To begin your claim, please contact below your claim agent the foreign service manager of FORTUNA TRUST SEGURIDAD S.A
TEL: +34 646 214 835
FAX: +34 646 215 749
Email: fortunatrust@spainmail.com

CONTACT PERSON: Sr. Anthony Jones

And also be informed that 10% of your lottery winning belongs to (FIERRO GROUP PROMOTION COMPANY S,A) Because they are the company that bought your ticket and played the lottery on your name, NOTE this 10% will be remitted after you have received your winnings prize because the money is insured in your name already. This lottery was promoted and sponsored by Bill Gates, President of Microsoft, the world’s largest software company in order to enhance and promote the use of Internet Explorer Users and Microsoft-wares around the globe. This promotional program takes place every three years. We hope with part of your winning you will take part in our end of year 50 million Euro International lottery

NOTE: All winnings must be claimed not later than the 31st August, 2008. After this date, all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. Remember to quote your reference information in all correspondences. You are to keep all lottery informations away from the general public especially your reference and ticket numbers. This is important as a case of double claims will not be entertained.

Congratulations on be half of our managements.
Jose Meсdez.
INTL.LOTTO COMMISSION

N.B: Any breach of confidentiality on the part of any of our winners will result to disqualification.

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message (including any attachments) is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is non-public, proprietary, privileged, confidential, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law or may constitute as attorney work product. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please contact the sender and delete this message immediately.

Also off-limits are questions about where foreigners live, where they have worked, their religious or political beliefs, or what they are currently doing.

Strange rules for a Chinese person in China during the Beijing Olympics, where the government has decided to encourage a new kind of manners. Interestingly, and unsurprisingly they also want Chinese people to not talk about their country or government in any way that will harm its national prestige or the country’s image. Of course there’s the usual bit about national security. How the bloody hell can a normal citizen harm national security by saying, “I’m not allowed to make fun of Chairman Mao.”?

Anyway, the part I like best is the bit where it says that queuing is encouraged. Good to hear you can be an economic powerhouse without any queuing, we Indians have hope still. It’s still damn annoying though that people don’t queue. I say this as a person who’s got people to hold a place in line for me, and who has otherwise jumped queues by telling friends to pay my fees and stuff like that. Yeah, I’m a hypocrite.

Which brings me to the topic of ‘hippocrete’, an animal commonly referred to on Digg. It seems to be some kind of large Grecian amphibian.

Apparently they’ve locked my non-existent Bank Of America account. what should I do?!

Account Locked !

Dear BankofAmerica Member,

Due to the number of incorrect login attempts, your BankofAmerica Account has been locked for your security. This has been done to secure your accounts and to protect your private information in case the login attempts were not done by you..
At BankofAmerica we care about your security so, for your protection we are proactively notifying you of this activity.

If you did not trigger this lockout, follow this link to Log on to your BankofAmerica Online Account :
Click here to unlock your account !

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

Thank you for using BankofAmerica!

——————————————————————————–

Please do not reply to this e-mail. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered.

Because I don’t take kindly to unasked for mail. How’d they know I wanted sunglasses anyway?

Dear Valued Customer,

Please find enclosed below list of our available stock of designer
eyewear for your consideration.

OAKLEY SUNGLASSES 65,00 EURO P/P
RAYBAN SUNGLASSES 60,00 EURO P/P
RAYBAN COLORI SUNGLASSES 47,00 EURO P/P
GUCCI SUNGLASSES 45,00 EURO P/P

MIXED BRAND OF:
PRADA
RAYBAN
CHANEL
VERSACE

65,00 EURO P/P

TRADE TERMS
MINIMUM QUANTITY: 100 units
DELIVERY: IMMEDIATE

THE MANAGEMENT

For Kinzrading
Piazza Monteverdi
16100 Genova ITALY

==============================
Tel: +39 010 868 79 66
Fax: +39 010 868 79 66
Mobile: + 39 349 0087913
Vat No: 03812470106
E-mail 1 admin@kinztrading.com
==================================

PLS, CONTACT YOUR AGENT

INTERNATIONAL AWARD
PROMOTION DEPT.
(GB/US-5104Z6231-9G)

WCI - GAMING BOARD/ WEBCHOICE

REF NO: GWL/ 9006209/HL
BATCH NO: GGG3/444/399/PTNL

RE: WINNING FINAL NOTIFICATION

Sir/Madam,
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners
International programs held on the 16th May 08. Your e-mail
address attached to ticket number 678-113233-153 with serial
number 321-773-8477-889 drew lucky numbers
1-11-01-1-11-1 which consequently won in
the 3rd category, you have
therefore been approved for a sum pay out
of $2,000 000 USD.
(Two Million Dollars). CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is
from the total sum of
10,000 000 United State Dollars category for
three winners.
You are advised to keep your winning information very confidential
till your claims
has been processed and your prize/money Remitted to you.
Due to mix up of some numbers and names . And this
is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming
and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All
participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn
from over 1,000,000 company and 300,000,000 individual
email addresses and names from all over the world. This
promotional program takes place annually. We hope with part of
your winning you will take
part in our next year USD100,000 000 million
international lottery. To file for your claim, please contact
our/your fiducial agent

WEBCHOICE AGENCY
FINANCE & CLAIMS MANAGEMENT SERVICES

Email: webchoice@consultant.com

TEL: 0031-641 445454
MR. EVANCE JANSSEN
(CHIEF FIDUCIARY)

Note that all unclaimed funds will be
included in the next stake. Please note in order to avoid
unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote
your reference number and batch numbers in all
correspondence.
Further, should there be any change of address
do inform our agent as soon as
possible. Congratulations once
more from our members of staff and
thank you for being part of
our promotional program. Note: Anybody
under the age of 21 is automatically disqualified.

Kind regards
Mrs. Margo Visser
Lottery Coordinator.

And you bloody well know that, because a DEAL simply cannot be undealt. What would you do for 6 million dollars? Or rather, what wouldn’t you do? I’m pretty sure becoming legally related to some ‘funds’ wouldn’t be too much of an issue. But then, what are your responsibilities? When the money is spent, are you a negligent guardian? When it is changed, are you trafficking? So many questions, so little time, so much secrecy. Mr. Kane, I cannot make a decision, I really can’t. But can I have a little bit? Just a few hundred thousands?

Dear Friend,

Firstly i apologise for intruding into your privacy, do kindly permit me to
introduce myself. I am Jason Kane, a banker by profession with Rand Merchant
Bank (RMB) South Africa. I have taken time out to source the right
individual, which is your humble self. I possess valuable and classified
information of great interest which i wish to share with you.

I also need to ascertain your dispositions towards receiving and utilising
information from me that guarantees you being legally acknowledged as the
sole surviving relative an investor (name with-held) died without naming a
next of kin to his fund in my bank (next of kin).

The proceeds of this account valued at $15.500.000.00 million dollars can
be paid to you and then you and i can share the money, 50% to me amounting
to US$7,750,000.00 dollars and 40% for you amounting to US$6,200.000.00 and
10% amounting to US$1,550,000.00 for miscellaneous expenses that might
arise. I would want you to understand that this is a DEAL.

I have all the legal and Banking details of the deceased client that will
facilitate our putting you forward as the claimant/beneficiary of the funds
and ultimately transfer of the $15.5M.Consequently, my proposal is that i
will like you as a Foreigner to stand in as the next of kin of the funds
deposited in my bank. I am writing you because i as a public servant, i
cannot operate a foreign account.

Contact me with your full legal names and contact telephone number for
further verbal correspondence.

You must maintain a great deal of confidentiality towards this endeavour.

Awaiting your urgent reply via email.

Thanks and my regards.
Mr. Jason Kane

NOTE: If however, you are not disposed to assist, kindly delete/destroy
this email in view of the confidentiality of the proposed transaction and
interest of personalities involved.

Poor uncle Pennybags died while he was travelling somewhere around Europe, apparently, and the worst part of the whole thing is that he left all his money in some bank in the Netherlands whose representatives are busy trying to drop it off on someone. I feel sorry for Uncle Pennybags, considering he led a simple life, interrupted rarely by the rolling of dice.

Now, a lowly database maintainer by the name of Ewald de Bever Mr wishes to get rid of a lifetime’s effort. This I cannot allow. This beaver man who places his title at the end of his name is far too eager to lose the money to be trustworthy, and his desire for secrecy is suspicious. However, I have one rule about email sent to my mail server and that is that I automatically have a right to put it where I want. That’s the rule, Monsieur Mr, and that’s why I’m doing this. It’s nothing personal, you know, it’s just that a man ‘who share your last name’ is not to be liked. Please consider changing it.

Hello,

You have not responded to my letter sent two weeks ago by regular mail in which I expressed my grave concerns about an investment of a customer who share your last name.

As you already know, I am the Information Analyst at the SNS Bank of Netherlands and presently in London, the United Kingdom on official assignments. I am contacting you via email because you have not responded to my previous letter and I do hope you will give this matter a priority attention it truly deserved.

I would respectfully request that you treat the contents of this mail as privileged and proprietary and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this correspondence because am contacting you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication. Hence, I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you and mutually beneficial if pursued to its conclusion with the necessary speed and determination.

The bank is at the verge to closing an investment account of high value belonging apparently to your family member who reportedly died interstates five years ago leaving behind an estate/capital with interest of a substantial amount of money in a now bonded account at the SNS Bank of Netherlands and till date nobody has come forward or put application for the claim. In line with our internal processes for account holders who have passed away, we officially instituted our own investigations in good faith to determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for the past months been unfruitful. Hence, my official capacity dictates that I am the only party to supervise the investigation and just recently, it occurred to me that you and I could work on this matter and share the proceeds equally being that you both share the same last name which put you in the right position to be the only suitable apparent heir of the estate though you may not be biologically related to him.

However, to maintain some level of security/confidentiality, I have intentionally left out some privileged information and urge you to contact me today and let’s discuss the modalities/logistics of realizing this goal.

In compliance with the standard requirements and to double-check with my record and ensure that you are indeed the addressee of this mail, I need you to reconfirming your details which include but not limited to your contact information, your full names (no initial please) and your age range, (Date of Birth) as prove of maturity to handle a project of this magnitude. I will provide you with all the privileged information/legal documents relating to the deceased customer and his bonded investment account when I receive your information and double-checked same satisfactorily. I will also guide you through the entire process of the transaction and ensure that the deal is consummated without the breach of the laws.

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal and humbly request that you discard this mail if you find no interest in this project. I ask that you should not be vindictive if you are not interested in taking this further. Please notify me and delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not ruin my career by contacting the management of my bank simply because you are not interested in my proposal. You may not know this but people like me who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector in the banking industry. I am not a criminal and neither will you be one by working with me on this deal. This may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Opportunities like this seldom come and therefore I am committed to realizing this goal in spite of all odds. I need your courage and commitment to actualize this transaction and together we can make it happen.

I do expect your prompt response. Or feel free to call me anytime on this number: +44 - 70 430 20619 while I am still here in London and let’s examine the possibility of a lasting business relationship.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Sincerely,
Ewald de Bever (Mr),
Oracle Database Analyst,
SNS Bank of Netherlands.

You just might get it. As is evidenced by this email I received from some random career website, you are definitely worth hiring, particularly if you never asked in the first place. Sadly, if you’re not an American or a green card holder then this response to your non-request isn’t of any use. Such is life.

Dear Candidate,

We have one job available for you in response to your request. We are a company based in Europe. We have analyzed your resume and have found one job available for you with GUARANTEED $5,500 every month INCOME.

Our company seeking dependable, enthusiastic representatives. If you have a desire to work at home, WITHOUT ANY SELLING INVOLVED, this is the job for you! No matter what you do for a living, whether you are a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, a secretary, nurse, housewife or construction worker. Without any previous internet experience our company will provide a less complicated way, a smoother road to move ahead financially. We don’t ask experience, just one hour is needed in one week. We are a company based in United Kingdom. First, you have to understand what our company is looking for and if you think that this kind of job is made for you to ask for our Representative Contract to be signed. If you have one free hour daily (not including weekends) you are welcome to join today. Our job is a flextime, flex-place opportunity designed to fit around your family’s income and time needs. You can earn FROM $50,000 up to $200,000 a year (depends on our sales) and more after one year working with us. We receive orders from US and we need a representative to process the payments due to the delays in clearing checks here.

- Flexible program

- Work at home: checking e-mail and going to the bank

- Professional contact team with very good support and communication skills

- Commission: 10% of every check that clears, instantly cash in hand that you will deduct from the cashed amount. If you receive a check of $1,000.00 your net income is $100.00, our company supports any fees.

More benefits:

No Selling

This is NOT Network Marketing

This is NOT a Distributorship

There is NO ‘Kit’ to Buy

There are NO Envelopes to Stuff

We DO NOT Charge You a Dime

We Pay Monthly a $1000.00 Salary + Commission

We have stocks of medical products for US customers and we need US representative to intermediate the payments between our company and the end buyers. Your commission is 10% from each check, if you receive 2-3 checks one day you will make more than $200 every day.

What we ask:

- One free hour daily not including weekends

- US citizen or permanent residence/green card

- You may have an existing bank account in US

- Internet access for sending and receiving e-mails

- Means for you to cash checks at your bank using your existing bank account. (nobody will ask for your personal bank information)

If you are interested working with our company reply today. You can start within 2-3 days if you agree with our contract. Please contact us by replying at this e-mail address and ask for:

Representative Contract and detailed information about this job.
=========================================================================

This email was sent from Account ID C5B4TC752BWLDYYU768 and by this logged in User Y7T35R6ZZ2SD1ZBXRDC

For your privacy and protection, when applying to a job online, never give out your social security number, credit card

or bank account information, or perform any sort of monetary transaction. Learn More »

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Please do not reply to this message, contact customer service instead.
5550-A Peachtree Parkway, Suite 200, Norcross, GA 30092
Feedback • Privacy

I love advertisements with Rube Goldberg machines in them. They’re damn cool. Everyone remembers the Honda Cog commercial, but how about this new advertisement for a rack. I love it, especially because there’s a whole point to the Rube Goldberg machine, gives you a reason to buy their product and stuff. Pretty cool.

According to Wikipedia,
A Rube Goldberg machine is an incredibly overengineered apparatus that performs a very simple task in very indirect and convoluted fashion (thus absurdly violating the principle of parsimony).

George is at it again, raking up old muck. I thought the whole Macs vs. Rest Of The World war was done, with all the apple fans saying that the premium one pays for an Apple laptop is because the OS is all that much better, not because the hardware is very good. That’s an interesting take, though, because OS X costs nothing near what Vista costs. But hell, you have to pay for the right hardware to use it on, because it isn’t allowed to use OS X on anything but Apple hardware.

Beats me how people want to get locked into stuff like that. Sounds like a bad idea, any way you look at it.

It sucks. It’s really bad. I’d typed out this long treatise on cancer, including a few solutions and some innovative applications involving using cancer cells to fight AIDS, but then what happened was that when I tried to place the trademark symbol on the name of the product, the whole damn thing died. And I hadn’t saved! I need Jesus!

PS: Is there a way I can tell search engines to ignore this post. It just struck me that I wouldn’t want to provide more noise for anyone searching for a cure for cancer. Shit, I already feel bad, but I don’t think a real cure for cancer would be on as obscure a site as this, so I needn’t bother, I guess. Then again, what about using cancer cells to fight AIDS. Is that worse putting that there?

So I noticed this alliterative blog post on digg the other day and all I can do is laugh. Sure he has a right to sell his music and stuff, but after listening to a sample of the crap they play I can’t honestly believe that anyone will actually download this music for free. In fact I’m pretty sure he must be paying all of his neighbours and friends to buy their stuff because the band frankly sucks. It just does, there’s nothing more to it, it’s awful, worse than the soundtrack of My Cat Vs. The Door, you know.

Frankly, the reason they aren’t making any money, if that’s what he’s complaining about, is that they don’t make anything that’s worth listening to. Heck, he’s probably flattering himself by thinking people are downloading his music. Sure they are, keep telling yourself that you’re popular.

The best bit is where he calls himself a ’sexual deviant pervert’. Jesus! Who gave this sixth grader a dictionary? He also goes on to say that it’s okay to steal from Microsoft, but not from him. Double Standards, don’t leave home without them.

There was a time when blogs weren’t common, and bloggers were the modern equivalent of Indiana Jones. Well no, there wasn’t such a time, unless you’re from the future. Every other word in a blog post was meant to be a link and if your blog had fewer than 5 columns you weren’t a blogger after all. Ah, the rigour of maintaining your own little news outlet.

Anyway, what got me started was that the brother of a certain friend has started a blog. He reminds me of that C&H strip where Calvin imagines that he is Frankenstein’s monster: Rehan Lives.

I use the -moz-border-radius extensions to CSS on this page. I suppose I rationalise saying that it’s open-source, anybody can implement it if they want it. Of course, that’s not right. It never is. There’s a standard, so support it. Beats me why Firefox won’t handle the proper CSS3 for defining curved borders. I can imagine it must be nicer. I will do that as soon as it works. Why am I still on Firefox 2? Because 3 is still beta and I can’t stand that funny ‘awesome bar’ or whatever they’re calling it now.

Of course IE is just evil and should be killed with a fat spoon.

I was offered a bonus from the “Central Bank of Nigeria” recently, under a section that was amended six years before it was brought into existence. As interesting as that bit is, the bank did claim that they did trade between cotinents - and I am not a tinent, co or otherwise, so I had to decline. If any of you would rather take Dr. John Williams up on his offer then please do send in all of your most sensitive details (you wouldn’t want them to be accidentally mixed up so that someone else gets their account stolen, would you?) for a weird process described only as “verificationa”. Sharing is caring.

FROM CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN)

Following the favourable consideration of your fund and in furtherance of
our duties and in accordance with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)
payment regulations as contained in the Federal Government of Nigerian
constitution, section 12c sub section 14 of 2006 as amended in 2000

Be informed that this office has this day, the approved for remittance,of
your fund’s representing your outstanding contract funds In favour of you
being the beneficiary.

To enable the immediate completion of the remittance procedures, be
Informed that clearance has been given to ( INTERCOTINENTAL BANK
PLC ) NIGERIA LAGOS BRANCH ,to effect the full payment of your funds
in earnest through bank to bank transfer

You are urgently advised to forward contact the verification and
remittance Unit of the issuance bank in person of Mr Tony Brown and
endorse your file,he will direct you to the paying Bank being the
(INTERCOTINENTAL BANK PLC ) NIGERIA LAGOS BRANCH.

Below is Contact Details.
Your Full Name
Your Full Contact Adderss
Your Phone and Fax Numbers
A Copy Of Your Passport Or Id Card
Your Company Name
Bank Details
Mr Tony Brown DIRECT VERIFICATIONA AND REMITTANCE UNIT
(INTERCOTINENTAL BANK PLC )
EMAIL mrtontbrown@live.com

We congratulate you for successfully being listed on the payment
scheduled for this quarter.

Regards
Dr John William
Contact him and get back to me ( drjohnwilliam@hotmail.com

Meanwhile, the advertisement underneath this nice offer seems to be for a Spanish ISP owned by T-Mobile. I didn’t know Nigeria was part of Spain these days. Ah well.

Maybe George could use the money to buy himself a new laptop. Splurging, I see. It’ll be good if it’s not as Linux-compatible as his HP Compaq NX 7300.

This mystifying currency has made a comeback. I was recently authorised by a good friend, Rev. Jerry Benson (who uses the email address mike_dd01@ekolay.net, in order to emphasise that he prefers his microphones sent by demand draft) to receive 2.5 million dollars US dollars. To date, I have received a large amount of money from these benefactors of mine, and I thank God that they believe me to hold such potential. Strangely, they all wish me to avoid some sort of operation referred to only as “COMMINUCATION” which, I believe, causes hitches when trying to get the money. Why was that operation invented anyway?

HELLO MY GOOD FRIEND,
NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT OF ( USD$2.5m) TWO MILLION FIVE
HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS THROUGH SWIFT CARD PAYMENT
CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH
YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF
THE WORLD,BUT THE MAXIMUM IS ONE THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED UNITED STATES
DOLLARS PER DAY.SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND IN THIS
WAY,PLEASE LET ME KNOW BY CONTACTING APEX BANK ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION AS LISTED BELOW.
1.FULL NAME………………………..
2.ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM
CARD……………………..
3.PHONE AND FAX
NUMBER……………………………………………..
4.YOUR AGE AND CURRENT
OCCUPATION……………………………………
5.ATTACH COPY OF YOUR
IDENTIFICATION…………………………………
HOWEVER,KINDLY CONTACT THE BELOW PERSON WHO IS IN POSSITION TO
RELEASE YOUR ATM PAYMENT CARD.
REV. JERRY BENSON DIRECTOR,
ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
EMAIL: brightjames200109@gmail.com
THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT YOUR
PAYMENT AND YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH ANY OTHER
PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(S) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR
PAYMENT.NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE
OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-0411) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE
WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.
REGARDS
BARRISTER JOHN WILL.

It’s a long journey, one that only the bravest would try. Yet here is one man who has succeeded:

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Mr.Zaid Yoqub Rassan a citizen of Iraq ,It’s my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I intend to establish in your country,Though I have not met with you before but I believe one has to risk, confiding in someone to succeed some times in life.There is this huge amount of funds which my FATHER kept in Europe before his untimely death.

Now I have decided to invest this huge amount in your country or any where safe enough outside my country Iraq for security purposes.I want you to assist me in transfering this funds into your account for investment purposes So if you can be of an assistance to me please reply me to my private email address: zaidrassan2000@yahoo.co.in

Upon your response I will update you of the funds.

I anticipate your urgent response.

Yours Faithfully,
Mr.Zaid Yoqub Rassan

And the good doctor who assisted:

FROM CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN)

Following the favourable consideration of your fund and in furtherance of
our duties and in accordance with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)
payment regulations as contained in the Federal Government of Nigerian
constitution, section 12c sub section 14 of 2006 as amended in 2000

Be informed that this office has this day, the approved for remittance,of
your fund’s representing your outstanding contract funds In favour of you
being the beneficiary.

To enable the immediate completion of the remittance procedures, be
Informed that clearance has been given to ( INTERCOTINENTAL BANK
PLC ) NIGERIA LAGOS BRANCH ,to effect the full payment of your funds
in earnest through bank to bank transfer

You are urgently advised to forward contact the verification and
remittance Unit of the issuance bank in person of Mr Tony Brown and
endorse your file,he will direct you to the paying Bank being the
(INTERCOTINENTAL BANK PLC ) NIGERIA LAGOS BRANCH.

Below is Contact Details.
Your Full Name
Your Full Contact Adderss
Your Phone and Fax Numbers
A Copy Of Your Passport Or Id Card
Your Company Name
Bank Details
Mr Tony Brown DIRECT VERIFICATIONA AND REMITTANCE UNIT
(INTERCOTINENTAL BANK PLC )
EMAIL mrtontbrown@live.com

We congratulate you for successfully being listed on the payment
scheduled for this quarter.

Regards
Dr John William
Contact him and get back to me ( drjohnwilliam@hotmail.com

I hate it when people send me unsolicited mail. I would be happy to help His Esteemed Privilege Engr. Frank Coleman, if he had not gone straight into trying to get me to join in his illicit doings, things that I would not do even when in the vilest of moods. Ah, but Engr. Frank Coleman is not just any man, he’s the Chairman of the Contracts Award Committee, and when he is done cheating that poor country out of its wealth he plans on selling diamonds to Kanye West. Such is life, I know the lowest of the low. Men will say for years to come, Ah, Christodolus, he was a king amongst kings, but walked as a common man amongst the plebeians.

FROM THE DESK OF ENGR.FRANK COLEMAN
Chairman, Contracts Award Committee,
Ministry of Sports Youth and Development,
Republic of Sierra Leone.
Email: franky_coleman@myway.com

Dearest friend,

Please give this message a meaningful consideration to the benefit of both of us. I strictly write to solicit for your cooperation to create a conducive environment to keep some funds for future investment after retirement.

I am privilege and highly placed in government as the Chairman of Contracts Award Committee in the Ministry of Sports, Youths and Development since 2003. During this period, we have successfully awarded various contracts to foreign Companies, of which all the contracts has been completed and commissioned.

In the course of our negotiation with the foreign contractors, 5% of all the contracts awarded were to be set-aside for my Committee, an agreement that we strongly held with the contractors. All the contractors have already received their full payments; our 5% is now in our Company’s dedicated account.

We need a reliable person, to receive this money on our behalf, since our position in government does not allow us to own any foreign bank account until after retirement.

Your urgent response and compliance will be highly appreciated.
NOTE: If this is unacceptable to you, I plead your indulgence to trash this message on receipt, as this requires high level of confidentiality.
Remain blessed.

Engr.Frank Coleman
Chairman.

Fortunately, there are people who seem to be able to make much more productive use of their space than I am able to. Be aware though, I, I will never sell out.

Indeed, the following email notifying me of the large sum of money that I will soon have tells me that it will be in the mystifying currency Dollar US Dollar, supposedly pegged at the rate of oil from Abuja and suggested as a viable alternative to the Euro by the aptly named Goodluck Jonathan. In keeping with the wishes of the Late Engineer and in the interest of full disclosure, I have decided to reproduce the email here. Reinhard and I were great friends in our youth, and we often used to sit down by the schoolyard playing with what we thought was confetti, while Marc, JS and Julio were assigned chores to do by those older than us. It was a good time, and I’m certain that given a chance Reinhard would rather be there than where he is now. A great friend, humanitarian and a brother to all men. I salute him.

MANAGING PARTNER
P.FRANK & SOLICITORS
415 ROYAL LIVER BUILDING,
PIER HEAD, LIVERPOOL L3 1LL, ENGLAND.

Re: NOTIFICATION OF REQUEST

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Reinhard Hermann, I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter to you returned undelivered. I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address on the WILL.

I wish to notify you that Late Engr. Reinhard Hermann made you a Beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Seventeen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ($17,500.000.00 USD) to you in the codicil and last testament to his WILL. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of his numerous Friends abroad who wished you good.

Engr Reinhard Hermann until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electrical & Electronic Engineers. He had a very good heart and was a philanthropist. His great philanthropy earned him numerous awards during his life time. I.e.UNO, WHO, & UNESCO.

Late Engr. Reinhard Hermann died on the 13th day of December, 2007. At the age of 80 years, and his WILL is now ready for execution. According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in your society.

Please if I reach you this time as I am hoping, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear from you in no distant time through the email address below.

Email:

Sincerely yours,

BARR.PETER FRANK (ESQ).
P.FRANK & SOLICITORS
MANAGING PARTNERS/SOLICITORS
Office Line: +44 702 405 7247 (Office hours only)

I attempted to contact Mr. Frank Peter.Barr in an effort to find out why he had a period in his name but apparently they close early on Sundays - obviously because their office is in Liverpool, a different time zone than the one in which their computers are. Poor Mr. Barr had to travel 2 hours eastward before he could send an email. I intend to send a representative to meet him in person at their office (coincidentally a place which also stores the Queen’s liver) and assess the costs of providing him with internet connectivity and a workstation. I must, of course, show gratitude for the promptness with which he has acted upon the will of good old Reinhard.

I received an email purporting to be from paypal asking me to reactivate my account with them, except the link didn’t lead to where it claimed it was from. Jeez, for a bit there I was scared something had happened. Thank heavens I’m rather cautious when it comes to money on the Internet. I don’t know if GMail automatically filters phishing emails but I get much fewer of them from there.

Here it is: PayPal Phishing Email